I woke up this morning and looked at my calendar.
June 23, 2015 has been marked in red with a big smiley face on it for 365 days.
I did it.
I made it an entire year dedicated to improving myself and health in any way possible.
126 lbs later. And I'm not done yet.
It seems surreal to look back on where I was a year ago today. The person I was then...she seems so far removed from me now.
Words can't describe how happy I am to be on the other side of that day, 365 days ago.
That day was a monumental day for me. I had been thinking about getting healthy for a month or so. But up until that point, I hadn't actually pulled the proverbial trigger. I made a decision that June 23, 2014 was going to be the new start to my life.
Was it easy? HEEEEEECKKKK NOOOOO. There were many times when I cried and yelled and got so mad at myself for letting myself get so far away from where I wanted to be, that I nearly gave up more times than I can count.
I remember walking into Complete Nutrition to purchase my first protein shake powder and having the guy immediately lead me over to the weight loss section was HUMILIATING and that moment still sticks in my head.
I said to myself, "If you never want to feel this way again, if you never want to worry about walking into a nutrition place or a gym or Whole Foods without getting those weird looks silently wondering if you took a wrong turn on your way to Whataburger, you'll change. And youll do it for life."
Those little promises that I made to myself, those lumps in my throat and punches to the gut that I got when the fit girl behind the counter at my gym asked if I had ever considered Weight Watchers (I'm not completely oblivious to the fact that I'm fat but thanks for hinting at it in your sugary sweet tone, Jane Fonda) were reminders that I would never have to feel that way again if I just stuck with it.
For anyone embarking on any journey...not just a weight loss journey, let me tell you something.
It gets better. I promise you. It does.
So many people scoff at those who are heavier casting judgement upon them immediately without even giving them a second thought.
That, my loves, will never change.
I don't care how small I get, there will always be assholes in the world who will call me fat.
Some of them in the form of friends who are "just kidding".
I know it's hard but ignore them. Their words cut like a knife but you are stronger than that.
If there's anything this past year has taught me, it's this:
1. Yes. There ARE always going to be jerks who purposely go out of their way to say something nasty, but you don't have to take their words as truth.
2. On the flip side of that, there are some TRULY amazing people in this world. Those are the people who will pick you up when you feel like you can't go own, wipe your tears when you've had a rough day and kick you in the butt when you're feeling sorry for yourself. To those people, I say I am SO blessed to have you in my life. And thank you. Sincerely. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
3. And this is a really important one. You. You are enough. Hear me? You are strong enough to withstand ANY obstacles that come your way. Kicking butt and taking names along the way will be it's own sweet reward when you finally reach the point of loving yourself, flaws and all.
The moral of the story is this. Is making a lifestyle change one of the hardest things I've ever done? 1000% yes.
Were there times when I just wanted to give up? More times than I can count.
Is it worth it? Oh.my.gosh.yes.
Do it for the guys at complete nutrition who point you towards the weight loss section without even letting you tell them what you're there for first.
Do it for the Weight Watchers suggestions from the front desk girl at the gym who obviously thinks you came to the gym to eat donuts instead of working out.
But most importantly, do it for you. In spite of the obstacles and assholes.
You deserve health and happiness above all else. You deserve to look in the mirror and actually like what you see. Does everything magically change overnight? No.
But if you really want it. Whatever it is. Dedication day in and day out will get you there.
This past year has been one heck of a bumpy ride. But I wouldn't change it for anything. I look forward to the year ahead with more challenges and more triumphs.
As cheesy as it sounds, it really is true.
You only get this one life. Make it count.
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