Moose Antlers

Current Weight Loss: 44 lbs & counting.

Time: 11 weeks in. 75 days.

Struggle: They say half the battle is mind over matter. I'm calling B.S. on that one - it's at LEAST 90% of the battle.

Current Pet Peeve: Having 85 lb girls ask if they can "squeeze through" in a tight space. I so badly want to retort, "Well, you can try but I'm not sure you'll make it to the other side."

I find it extremely ironic to say that I avoided the scale my ENTIRE adult life, and now I'm having to have conversations with myself so that I don't weigh myself every hour of every day... I have officially become number-obsessed.

I see this post on Facebook, Pinterest & Instagram every time I search for "weight loss" & it sticks in my head:

"It takes 4 weeks for you to notice your body changing, 8 weeks for your friends to notice & 12 weeks for the rest of the world."

Turns out - this is pretty accurate. I have had more compliments within the last 2 weeks than I have in my entire journey thus far. I love it! But, at the same time it's almost as if I'm afraid to believe it.

I have weekly weigh-ins - Sunday mornings are typically the only mornings when I can have a little "me time" before rushing out the door. So, it has become a ritual. Wake up. Pee. Weigh.
Then, I'll update my progress on my weight loss app, mark out how many pounds I have to go before I reach my goal weight (Let's just say, it's a lot) on the weight chart on the back of my door, move stones over from my "Pounds to Go" jar to my "Pounds Lost" jar & text my Dad my progress so he can help keep me accountable (he's against sugar coating, which I like). Anal Amie strikes again. And even though I know I should be happy, I find little to no joy in doing any of these things because I constantly remind myself that I'm not there yet. I have not reached my goal.

This is my current struggle. I haven't really taken the time to examine why I do this to myself but I do know the advice I would offer to someone,  other than myself, going through this: BE PROUD OF YOURSELF! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? You have accomplished something amazing and every day that you continue on, is a day you can be proud of...right?

So why do I still feel like it's not enough? Perhaps it's the Type A personality in me that refuses to celebrate until the job is done. I've always been that way - if I start a project, I won't stop until it's done. Like, literally won't eat or sleep or even pee until I'm finished.  I know how foolish that is but that's how I am. I want to finish the work before I can let myself relax.

In closing,  I've sort of half-assed my congratulations to myself for every milestone I reach. Write some sort of Facebook post letting everyone know how I'm doing and how "proud" I am of myself - but I'm pretty muted in the whole inner feelings of pride thing. This is something I'm working on.

P.S. I looked up what weighs 44 lbs and coincidentally Moose Antlers came up. I think I'll celebrate - isn't hunting season just around the corner? :) Until Next time....